Tuesday

Joan and I had acupuncture appointments in Mooloolah so we took Louisa and Max for an adventure. The acupuncture was interesting and the clinic/house had a running creek beside it.

The Sunshine Coast has had three big floods in the last three weeks - and this was the biggest so the creeks were up - so we stopped for a swim. (It was shallow, not too fast running and very safe.)

Then on to Paul's place to see his turf farm - it's under all that water:

his miniature horse:

his cat:

and the ducks- who seemed very pleased with the weather - and the neighbours chooks - who did not:

On to Warren's place where we saw the latest trip to Europe photos (Croatia, France, Italy, Malta and London).

Home via Maleny where we bought ice cream, cheese from Queensland's only fromagerie and a book.

Dinner was 'cheese on toast' - actually a very delicious chevre, a triple cream, a washed rind King Island white, semi dried tomatoes, avocado and grilled spinach baguette. Max and Louisa both say cheese on toast is now their favourite dinner.

And all the while Lee, Roger, Jesse and Peet were working on the Toowoomba house and Alec was slaving away at TAFE.

Broad Brush

Last weeks letter to Tom started by saying that we have been frantically busy and that means that I have no idea what has been going on here for the last week or so. When things get busy I can't remember the details.

I know that Daniel left to serve in the Michigan mission. (David and Beth have had an email and he's happy and well in the MTC.)

Roger and Alec went deer hunting - and brought home venison - I am very happy because I have found some new recipes to try which means we can spread our venison eating wings and have something other than venison stew in the crockpot. (We're very into sustainable meat eating here - right up until we want a pork roast then we're willing to make an exception - at least we like the idea of sustainability.)

I took Jesse, Peet, Louisa and Max to see the 'Half Hour Hamlet' at UQ. It's hysterically funny - the Queensland Shakespeare Ensemble summarise Hamlet into a half hour play - just the good bits. Then they do it in 15 minutes, then in one minute - by which stage we were laughing to crying. Max had a major tantrum about having to go and pulled out the big gun arguments like 'Heavenly Father said we should choose for ourselves and I choose to stay home' and 'why do you make us do this stupid stuff''. Peet - who previously had said that he would like to stay home - came to the party and assured Max it would be great - all to no avail. Max refused lunch and sulked all the way to UQ - which is quite the sulk since it's a 45 minute drive. But even Max was laughing hard by the end and on the way home declared that it was the best day of his life - fickle thy name is not woman - it's Max.

Jesse and I saw the movie Good - and it was good - not great but it stays with you.

Louisa's cello teacher turns out to be married to our state MP who has just been given the Education portfolio - and so she is closing down the Cello studio. Louisa wept - all night.

The little kids found a pile of dead grass and spent an afternoon jumping in it.

Peet met Becky at Gap Creek Reserve for an afternoon of mountain biking - Becky would like to make it a regular Wednesday afternoon event and Peet cannot think of a single reason he would need to be at school on Wednesday afternoons.

We (actually I) made hot cross buns on Good Friday - and we (actually Roger and Alec) finally made the goats a run.

Then we (not me, Roger, Alec or Peet - we just don't have the stamina) had a High School Musical Party with the Fulchers (actually just Monica, Simone, Robert and Samuel). Lots of dancing and singing along and laughing at the cheesiness - and a certain amount of wrestling and drawing by the little boys.

Alec has discovered yet another use for food storage - holding up your tv antennae so you can see the football.

Conference videos round out the weekend - Elder Hales has us all trying to figure out what really are needs and pondering on how best to feed Africa (as per Max's request) and still live a life that best enables us to build the kingdom of God here. Elder Scott has us all fired up to get to the temple more often. President Eyring has us thinking about what is fair in life and how to deal best with little trials.

General conference weekends are two of my top weekends each year - we all go to all the sessions - I make sure there is good food in between sessions, some nice new drawing stuff for the little kids, quilts to snuggle up in when the aircon gets cold, and lots of time to talk about what we learned at night. Louisa and Max made easter baskets while we talked.

The easter bunny has delivered chocolate eggs and Louisa - as always - is the first one awake - she will probably just put her eggs in her 'emergency supply' - chocolate does nothing for her. Max and Peet will wake up soon and then we'll see some enthusiasm.

Here's Max - bleary eyed but straight into the tube of condensed milk that he requested in lieu of some of his easter eggs.

And I guess Peet really is a teenager - when you can sleep in - on the lounge room floor - while everyone is opening easter eggs around you - you must be a teenager.

Now it's Sunday conference sessions - Max tells me he loves general conference - 'it's so much better when you listen.' I think he stopped playing with Robert and Samuel for all of 30 seconds on Saturday but apparently that was enough.

Sleeping out

The stars are pretty spectacular at Samford, and the night air is delicious.

So I completely understand my children sleeping outdoors as often as they can manage.

Weekend before last Roger and Peet were away on Young Men camp. So Simone, Robert and Samuel came for a sleepover - and slept indoors.

Jesse and Alec went to a party, came home at 2 am, woke me to say hello, then went to bed - sort of. They both slept on the pavers. Alec in his swag - and Jesse on her mattress that she hauled out of her bedroom.

Then a couple of nights later Alec and Max slept on the pavers.

Then Louisa and Max slept on the verandah.

Then Alec slept down by the remains of one of the fires from Daniel's farewell.

And that's all in one week - and it's not even unusual - they just love to sleep outside. When Tom left on his mission we all slept outside with a fire - and there is a plan afoot to do it again when he gets home. I'm looking forward to it - I take my mattress too.

Cramming it in

This weekend was a big one - but I tell myself that it's not so bad to pack everything in to one weekend rather than spread it over 6 weekends.

Friday was Rob Holland's funeral which Roger conducted and spoke at. Then Daniel's mission farewell at our house - bonfires, a 'volleyball' net (thankfully only the fleet footed played saving us a certain law suit due to a court with tractor ruts running through it), sausage sizzle, and so on. I think we may be on to something with one family cleaning (that was us) and one family catering (that was Beth) - sure beats doing both. It all wound up around 1 am.

Saturday was phone book deliveries for Pine, stake primary activity for Louisa and Max, a baptism at which Roger and Alec both spoke, Sharon Thomas' wedding which Roger performed, the reception and the Pine Trivia night - nothing to it.

Jesse, Peet and I did a bunch of phone books while Roger and Alec went to the baptism. The Parry's dropped Louisa and Max to Heather Lawton's for a lift to the Primary activity (a talent show where Jessica Parry performed a head stand - way cooler than those other kids that just played violins and stuff according to Jessica). Then we finished the phone books and Roger and I went to the wedding and reception while Jesse and Alec took a table of their friends to represent us at the Pine trivia night.

Today was lunch at Joan and Lee's - roast lamb with veges and goats cheese - Max asked why I don't do lunches like that!

Daniel was set apart - and now we're done!

Not one photo for the whole weekend which should indicate just how frantic it became.

But we got through the whole thing without any tears or tantrums - from me or the kids.

Painted

Louisa came home from school saying 'I just sat still for a while and the little kids painted me'. I guess these things will happen!

Work

Daniel's mission farewell party was at our house on Friday night - this translates into roughly two weeks of me panicking about the state of the house/yard, and two weeks of everyone spending every spare moment tidying and cleaning. If a house and yard take two weeks to clean you can tell that they haven't been done for a while - parties are one of the few things that motivate me to bring the house up to presentable standard - we should just have one every month and we'd be fine.

Luckily the children all know the drill and get on with the job.

There were gardens to weed,

grass to haul away,

gardens to plant,

and odd jobs requiring the use of two radios and a tool belt - as well as lawns to mow and whipper snip, paint touch ups, tidying, dusting vacuuming and so on.

But now we sit with the party over, and a clean house and yard - I should have another party quickly before it all falls apart again.

Kim's talk

My parents have just returned from a trip to Laos. Laos, as you probably know is a small country north of Thailand. It is a communist country and primarily agrarian. As a result of their isolation, their poverty, and of having a language that is unique to only 5.8 million people, education for children is pretty hit and miss. One of the big problems is finding books that can be used for children to learn to read. One group working on this problem is called Big Brother Mouse. They write and have printed children’s books in the native Laos language with an English translation. You can imagine that a little bit of English goes a long way to future prosperity – these books are then delivered to schools and children free of charge. Whenever my parents go somewhere exotic they bring me back children’s books – it’s always a hit. This time I got some books produced by Big Brother Mouse. They are very sweet and show the agricultural life the children lead. One of the books is a collection of proverbs. The Big Brother Mouse people asked a group of young people to ask a respected older person about their favourite proverb. Then the young people wrote a tiny paragraph about the application of that proverb. Some of these proverbs included “Create virtue while you are here. They will miss you when you are gone.” And ‘don’t blame the buffalo if your fence is not good, don’t blame the gnats if your shirt is open’ – the explanation for which was ‘If your fence is broken, don’t blame the buffalo for coming in and eating your garden. If you create a problem don’t blame others.

Another proverb said ‘Our father’s goodness is as big as the mountain; our mothers goodness is as wide as the sky.’ And the explanation is ‘our parents were generous and kind to us as children, and did their best to make us happy and healthy. We should respect them and take good care of them when they are old.’

The idea that we should care for, respect and honour our parents is, as far as I can tell, found in every religion and in every culture. The Koran (one of the holy books of Islam) says ‘Your Lord has decreed that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. ”
One of the Buddhist teachers wrote that ‘The lamb kneels to nurse; The crow returns to feed its parents’.

In fact the Sikhs, the Shinto’s, Confucianism and many others all have as part of their fundamental beliefs the need to honour father and mother.

Of course, the most authoritative writing about honouring father and mother are found in the standard works. The earliest example being as part of the ten commandments where we are commanded to’ Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.’

It’s an interesting promise – that as we honour our Father and our Mother our days will be long upon the land which our Lord gives us. Although we have often joked with our kids that your days won’t actually be longer – it will just feel that way – I am interested in why we would want to have our days lengthened and why or how honouring our parents causes this.
Paul expanded on the fifth commandment a little when he wrote to the Ephesians saying in chapter 6 verses 1- 3 - Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

Paul said that Children should obey their parents – in the Lord – or in other words – when the parents ask them to do things that the Lord would want them to do – but then he goes on to say honor thy Father and thy mother- so there is clearly more to honouring father and mother than simple obeying. It may even be that it is possible to honour father and mother while not obeying them – if they are not asking righteously.

A previous member of the First Quorum of the Seventy, Hugh Pinnock said that ‘ Honour is a simple word; it means to give special respect and to pay tribute. It means to respond to teachings that have been patiently and thoughtfully given’

Much of the fabric of our earthly family relationships is patterned after heavenly family relationships. Elder Dallin H Oaks – one of the apostles – has said that “the commandment to honour our parents has strands that run through the entire fabric of the gospel. It is inherent in our relationship to God our Father. It embraces the divine destiny of the children of God. This commandment relates to the government of the family, which is patterned after the government of heaven.”

So, honouring parents is not an isolated commandment –the ramifications of honouring parents are not limited to our relationship with our parents – all of our gospel experience can be affected by the way we honour our parents. Of course this is true of every other commandment that we choose to keep also. We honour our earthly parents – in part – because we honour our heavenly parents – we do things in our earthly families that reflect the way our heavenly family operates. Jesus Christ showed us how to honour Heavenly Father when he did his Fathers will, ascribed all glory to his father and loved and served both Mary and Joseph as well as Heavenly Father.
There are – so far as I can see – three main promises associated with honouring parents. The first – found in Exodus is that our days will be long upon the land. The next is when Paul adds ‘that it may be well with thee’ and finally Moroni gives us another type of promise when he quotes Malachi – with a couple of changes. Moroni said to Joseph Smith – very early in the restoration of the Gospel after talking about the return of the prophet Elijah – ‘and he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to the fathers. If it were not so the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming.’ I suppose it is safe to assume that this means that when the hearts of the children are turned to their fathers – by remembering the promises God has made to those fathers – then the whole earth won’t be utterly wasted.

So three promises – days shall be long upon the land, it may be well with us and the earth won’t be utterly wasted.

Generally when promises are made by God it is a sign that the thing promised is good. And so it is. But sometimes – when our days feel quite long enough already – we might question the value of having our days long upon the land.

Lehi told his son Jacob – in 2 Ne 2:21 – that ‘the days of the children of men were prolonged, according to the will of God, that they might repent while in the flesh, wherefore their state became a state of probation, and their time was lengthened, according to the commandments which the Lord God gave unto the children of men.’ And I suppose we would all be glad to have our days prolonged that we may repent.

Some other benefits of having our days upon the land lengthened would perhaps include having more time to forge relationships, more time especially to learn to commune with our Father in Heaven, more time to master our bodies, more time to serve those we love and those placed in our way, more time to gain knowledge of earthly things, more time to notice the signs of the times, more time to warn our neighbour, more time to learn the things of the spirit that will carry us through the eternity, and more time to turn our hearts to our fathers, and our children’s hearts to us.

Of course how we use our days is a function of our agency and our understanding. But it is clear that – at least in part – the blessing of having our days long in the land is predicated on honouring our father and mother.

Paul added that ‘it may be well with us’ when we honour our father and mother. There is no further explanation given but I suppose that there is a promise of some level of prosperity when things are well with us, some level of health, some level of comfort and peace in our lives. I think that for most of us there is no peace greater than the peace that comes with having our families close to each other and close to us. Perhaps in honouring our own parents we teach our children to honour us and it is well. Paul goes on to tell Fathers to not provoke children to wrath. Clearly, responsibilities to honour cut both ways.

Moroni promised that as we remember the promises made to our fathers and turn the childrens hearts to the fathers, the earth will not be utterly wasted in the last day. Not all fathers have had specific promises made individually to them by the Lord – but as members of the church we are also the children of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and it is those promises that we need to remember when we turn the hearts of the children to the fathers. President Hinckley once remarked that he didn’t know that the earth was any less wicked than Sodom and Gomorrah. Perhaps it is the turning of the hearts of the children to the fathers that will literally keep the whole earth from being utterly wasted when the Saviour comes again.
In D&C 98:16 we are admonished to ‘renounce war and proclaim peace, and seek diligently to turn the hearts of the children to their fathers, and the hearts of the fathers to the children;’. There is an implied promise of peace here as we turn our hearts to our fathers – and of course by implication to our mothers.

These are great blessings. The difficulty of course is that parents do not always act honourably. It would be safe to say that no parent has done everything right – but I think it is relatively easy for us to see our way clear to honour a parent who has made occasional mistakes- or even fairly regular mistakes – but whose love we are sure of and whose best efforts were made.
Some children are born and grow with parents who, either as a result of their own poor experiences, or through neglect or occasionally something more insidious, do not parent honourably. But I can find nowhere in scripture or in the words of the prophets any pedalling back on the need to honour parents.

Russel M Nelson said that ‘to honor father and mother means to honor fatherhood and motherhood and the divine provision for procreation and all that pertains to it.’ So we honour parents – regardless of their competency as parents – when we honor fatherhood and motherhood.

Elder Pinnock also said that we need to forgive – and reminded us of the Saviour telling Peter that we should forgive till 70 times 7. This can unquestionably be difficult – and I am grateful to have been born to honourable parents and consequently to not have that particular burden – but I am sure that with that burden would come added blessings to the person who is so humble and meek as to be able to forgive and honour a parent who is not easily honoured.

And We sometimes discover that what we thought was indifferent parenting, was something else entirely. My mother remembers being in terrible trouble for some unknown offence, and not discovering until she was an adult that what had actually happened was that she had taken my grandmothers one good dress and used it to make a nest for a family of rats she had found under the house. Because it really was Grandma’s one good dress, grandma didn’t discover it missing till some time later when she had need of her good dress. You can imagine the impact on a less than wealthy, large family, in the late 1940’s. It would have been devastating. But my mother only remembered being in terrible strife for no good reason. Sometimes we can forgive more readily when we know more fully the circumstances.

We honour our parents when we do what is right - Abraham for example was lead by the hand of the Lord away from his father’s house because of the iniquity there, but has brought honour to his father’s name by his own actions and by his fidelity to the Lord.
Noah, who I suppose to be a good and honourable parent none the less was found drunk and naked in his tent. Ham, his son ‘told his brethren’ Shem and Japeth. Shem and Japeth carefully took a garment, laid it on their shoulders and went backwards in to Noah and covered him. Shem and Japeth were respectful of their father even though he was clearly compromised. Ham on the other hand was – at the very least – indiscreet – and as a result Ham’s son Canaan was cursed.

There are of course many different ways of honouring our parents. And the way we honour our parents changes as grow.

When I was around 10 or 11 years old my mother and grandmother told me that they were making me a special shirt. My grandparents lived on a cattle property in central Queensland and my grandmother’s room was a caravan that was separate to the main living areas, and my mother and grandmother would disappear into the caravan for what seemed like hours at a time working on this present. Eventually they gave me the shirt. It was a yellow bonds tshirt – on which they had hobbeytexed a heart of daisies (hobbytex was all the rage then) and inside the daisies they had written ‘the opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of her parents.’ The problem was that I had been up to visit our neighbours and accused them of stealing our cattle. So I had to wear the tshirt up to the neighbours house and hope they read it and ignored everything I said from then on. (There may have been a few times when Roger wished that I had a shirt a bit like that now). Now I don’t really think that by accusing the neighbours of stealing our cattle I was failing to honour my parents – maybe if I had refused to wear the shirt. But if I had done the same thing at 16 or 17 then maybe that would not be honouring my parents because I would then have understood more about the potential consequences of my actions.

Honouring parents is not a simple matter of following a formula and will depend on our age, our parents age, and even on our culture.

A small child usually honours their parents when they are obedient, show respect and even emulate their parents. An older child usually honours a parent when they confide in their parent, when they express confidence in their parents, when they seek counsel from their parents, or express appreciation to their parents. These actions presume that the parent is acting honourably..

An adult honours a parent differently. By this stage of course the adult child will have the ability to discern what is right and wrong, but regardless of the parents actions a parent is honoured when grandchildren are born and honourably raised, when family histories are prepared and temple work performed for ancestors.

We honour older parents when we care for them in their old age – and when we respect their opinions and agency.

When parents have died we can continue to honour them possibly through family reunions and through continuing their worthy works on earth.

All of these ways of honouring our earthly parents help us to honour our Heavenly Father and to do his work here on earth. For example – we obviously should be obedient and respectful of our Heavenly Father and seek to emulate him. We should confide in him, show by word and deed that our trust and our faith is in our God, we should seek His counsel that will come to us through the scriptures, through the prophets and directly through the Holy Ghost. We should express appreciation for all that our Father in Heaven has done for us.

Recently in the Worldwide Leadership Training Elder Jeffrey R Holland of the 12 Apostles said that we bear children with the idea that we will save them, and of course in so doing we honour our Father in Heaven just as we honour our earthly parents.

Family history and temple work honour both earthly and heavenly parents. And when we care for aged parents, we remember the Saviour saying that when we have done it unto one of the least of these we have done it unto him and we remember King Benjamin telling us that when we are in the service of our fellow beings we are only in the service of our God.
President Gordon B Hinckley said “Is it likely that we will live longer if we honor father and mother? I am convinced that Jehovah knew whereof He wrote when His finger traced those words, with that remarkable promise. I am not here to say that in every case life will be lengthened and its quality improved simply by the process of honoring one's parents. But I do say, and without hesitation, that there is safety, there is protection, there is reward, there is happiness and satisfaction that come of respect for the counsels of one's parents who wish the very best for every son and daughter.

There is a sweet Poem called Those Winter Sundays by Robert Hayden – and even though I don’t do poetry justice when I read it aloud – I’m going to read it now.
Those Winter Sundays
Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.
I’d wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.

When the rooms were warm, he’d call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,
speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the coldand polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love’s austere and lonely offices?

And with that we are reminded that too often we fail to notice ‘love’s austere and lonely offices’ – we fail to notice, perhaps in the midst of the business of life, or perhaps in the midst of so much heartache, the many things done for us by our parents simply because they love us. Our Heavenly Father, who loves us perfectly, also performs for us many of love’s austere and lonely offices – not the least of which being that he gives to us parents, and the opportunity to honour those parents so that it may be well with us, that our days may be long in the land, that the earth will not be utterly wasted at the Saviours coming and that we will have peace. And so that we can learn to honour Him.